Ms. Gracious

I wrote Ms. Gracious back on March 17, 2020 — the day the first COVID-19 case was identified in Boone County, Missouri. As of Dec 14, 2020, there have been 12,050 reported COVID-19 cases in Boone County and more than 367,000 cases in Missouri. Some people still think the virus is a hoax.

Ms. Gracious

There are no cars waiting near the entrance of the hospital and no patients walking around with their canes. So much has changed in just a few weeks. The chilly breeze hits my face and my heart accelerates as I notice something new — a health checkpoint. “I am an employee,” I say, wondering how to proceed. The nurse points a thermometer to my neck. “You are too cold,” she says in a firm tone, and then directs me to turn as she checks my temperature again, on my nape this time. “You are good,” she says and signals me to move on.

Every muscle in my body is tense. Health experts recommend social distancing, but I need to work. I spend the first 30 minutes cleaning my desk and catching up on emails. I click on a link about telework, but later find out that this option won’t be available for me. The hours go by, and I do my best to concentrate.

Then, Ms. Newface shows up. She smiles, introduces herself, and puts out her hand — offering a handshake. I introduce myself and look away, hoping she’ll put her hand down. Ms. Newface offers it again.

I hate it, but the Ms.Gracious in me goes on and shakes her hand.

Ms. Newface isn’t done. She puts her hands on my coat and rests her arm on my chair. She is too close — even for pre-pandemic times. As soon as she leaves, I wash my hands and disinfect my desk, again.

Unfortunately, Ms. Newface returns that afternoon. Once again, she rests her arm on my chair and coughs a few times within centimeters of me. “Don’t worry, I have allergies,” she says in a comical tone. Of course, she can afford to be comical. With an insurance card in her wallet and paid medical leave secured, she can afford to think of coronavirus as a joke.

I am lucky to still have a job. Businesses all around are closing. However, there is no medical insurance card in my wallet, and no paid sick leave waiting for me. If I get sick and happen to get my husband sick too, neither of us will be able to work. We’ll have no insurance to pay for medical care and no paid leave to help us cover our expenses.

I hope Ms. Newface is right. I hope that in a few months we can say we overreacted and can laugh about it, but until then, do not shake my hand, get your hands off my things, and for God’s sake — do not cough in my cubicle. 

Right now, I can’t afford to be Ms. Gracious.

Story: Aurola Wedman Alfaro @aurola.wedman

Photography: William Viquez-Mora @willviquez